Yeah,. So today is another day of hell for me. Nothing seems interesting and fun to do. I want to sleep again and wake up to another day where it is filled with happy stuffs and not just to be stuck here enduring the chain of boredom. Happy stuffs are just too far away from my grasps. The things I planned and the things I wished, I have no choice but to let them go. I'm stuck here giving way for other's enjoyment. I'm stuck here letting others touch my happiness. Many times I blew up but in them end, I still have to endure being stuck.
And my favorite line.... *drumroll*
THIS REALLY SUCKS! Arggh,. My vacation will be over but until now nothing productive seems to happen. This may sound so selfish and greedy but I wish to be alone with all the gadgets in these house. They're my only friend (since those people whom I call *FRIEND* is out there enjoying they're summer). As more time passes of being me stuck into this house, I feel like I'm getting more and more corrupt and retarded here. This place isn't relaxing in any way (my body does nothing but my mind and inner self are too much exhausted). I feel like it isn't my home anymore. There's more restrains and restrictions here. I can't even tell anyone what I'm feeling since I doubt if they'll even care. I'm sick of the days that I just have to go on with the flow. I like to do the things I like without holding back.
So if you're asking me if I want to go to uni, I'm telling you NO either! I'm really tired of everything. I want some time to be alone, to fix this selfish and loathsome heart of mine. I want to be free of the unwanted social conversations and responsibilities. I want to go back being a little child free of everything (free from expectations, free from complains, and free to be selfish). I really miss those days when everything seems so simple and I don't have any burden to face the society's standards.
Why do people have to grow up, anyway? I really envy Wendy. If I were her, I'd stay with Peter at the Netherlands,.
So I'm continuing my freak with BLEACH (let's end my pathetic story),.
I love the scene where Ichigo defeated Grimmjow.
I'll make a separate entry for the review some other time soon =)
(I know I could enjoy it more if no one is on the way)
(I really planned decorating this entry with dark colors but since I'm over with them, I think colorful stuffs will fit into my not so good emotions. And this cute little things cheer me up too!)
Live☆Laugh☆Love
Shigeru
