Idle

A day like yesterday is what I call ABUSING MY VACATION. After the night of drama and headache last Friday, I finally had the opportunity to watch anime all day long yesterday (so happy). I wish everything is like that~ hmmm,. I miss my life. I've been watching Bleach, I'm trying to catch up to the latest episode (haha a long way to go).

Idle days are very much wonderful. No need to think or try hard, no need to make yourself feel alive. I just can't help loving doing nothing haha. My parents promised me that they will fix my room. I'm not looking forward for it that much because... I don't know... It seems that it's not that easy as the way it sounds. I also don't want to expect anything from anyone anymore. It's so painful. That's why I hate promises. I hate people who promises but in the end they don't have the damn guts to make it happen. Life becomes so much less exciting that I'm getting sick of it.

I slept 2 am yesterday (or so I mean today) and for a lazy bum like me who spends half of her day sleeping what time do you expect me to wake up? Whatever guess you have I think you're wrong. I slept 2 am and woke up at 6 am. I slept for merely 4 hours. This damn sucks! I want to spend my time sleeping but some other people out there don't care that much and turn on my TV (at a loud volume). This indicates that my day starts with a grump. (freakin' insolent people!)

Today is another day where we suppose to go out and have fun calling it as FAMILY DAY like last Sunday. Not good as it sounds, I've got nothing to do that day but hate people. I don't know anymore, I can't have fun with anyone as I used to. Maybe fun things have a deeper and different understanding for me^^

Ideal bed (^,^)

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Kimi ni Okuru Uta

I'm starting to love Sugawara Sayuri!

Kimi ni Okuru Uta
ENGLISH TRANSLATION

Hey, I want to see you right now

I want to come right out and say it

I want you to give me a special look

I love you just the way you are

I want to tell you my true feelings

I will always love you

I put a lock sign on the email I got from you

So it won't be deleted

So I can look at it any time, anywhere

And feel close to you

So many times, when I am alone

I think of you, I end up thinking of you

I can't see anything but you

When it comes to "love", I don't think anyone can beat me

Hey, I want to see you right now

I want to come right out and say it

I want you to give me a special look

I love you just the way you are

I want to tell you my true feelings

I love you always

I don't really want a lot

I just want you to notice how I feel

Touching, cuddling, the simple things are all I need

I want to be laughing by your side

So many times, even when Im with someone else

I think of you, I end up thinking of you

If you are carrying some weakness, I want to support you

I feel like I want to protect you

Hey, I want to see you right now

I want to come right out and say it

I want you to give me a special look

I love you just the way you are

I want to tell you my true feelings

I love you always

Your innocent smile, your strong arms, your back that I love so much

The more we are together, the more they attract me

It's so mysterious

Hey, what are you doing now, and where?

Who do you like?

What do you think of me?

Out of everyone in the whole world, I sing this song for you, only you

I want to send it to you

I love you always...

Hey, I want to see you right now

I want to come right out and say it

I want you to look at me with a special expression

I love you just the way you are

I want to tell you my true feelings

I will always love you

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Fixing things bit by bit

Today is a nice day. I finished many projects and they look super extraordinary cute (haha). I'm so glad they turned out good even though I lacked of materials (I'll show it tomorrow). Everything looks fine about me for this day: The weather is not that hot anymore, I ate a lot today, and I reconciled with the people to whom I made misunderstandings. I can't say that we had an argument or something but our relation is not that good. I'm fixing myself bit by bit. I can't stay like a spoiled princess anyway and I know I have to grow up, learn to accept the things that wouldn't go on my way, and learn to be a little bit more humble.

Life is rough so I have to be strong. Everything seems a big deal for me and I have to change that. Ignoring things is not that bad especially if it would only hurt you. Good things depend on how you look them so be positive! (I think I'm starting to lecture myself, haha) Anyway, seems my vacation would end so soon. I have to pack some of my things on a big box since I would like to concentrate on my studies (I don't want the pain of cleaning them everyday!). I have to fix my closet since I just dumped my clothes there (too lazy to fold them properly). This week we have a new helper. I don't like her at first but she seems nice. I think I must give her chance to prove herself to me, haha.

Oh, speaking of classes, I'm still not sure if I'll board or just endure commuting from my house to uni (it really sucks during rush hours). I don't know if I'm ready to be independent since I depend everything to them, haha, but I think I should give it a damn try to learn. Hmmm,. I still can't decide, guess I'll just think it over again when I've got my schedule.

Last day was a storm,

Yesterday was raining,

Today is fine but

I hope tomorrow is a brighter day ;)

I don't have the time to watch Bleach today, too bad.

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Insanity sucking vacation

 

Yeah,. So today is another day of hell for me. Nothing seems interesting and fun to do. I want to sleep again and wake up to another day where it is filled with happy stuffs and not just to be stuck here enduring the chain of boredom. Happy stuffs are just too far away from my grasps. The things I planned and the things I wished, I have no choice but to let them go. I'm stuck here giving way for other's enjoyment. I'm stuck here letting others touch my happiness. Many times I blew up but in them end, I still have to endure being stuck.

And my favorite line.... *drumroll*

THIS REALLY SUCKS! Arggh,. My vacation will be over but until now nothing productive seems to happen. This may sound so selfish and greedy but I wish to be alone with all the gadgets in these house. They're my only friend (since those people whom I call *FRIEND* is out there enjoying they're summer). As more time passes of being me stuck into this house, I feel like I'm getting more and more corrupt and retarded here. This place isn't relaxing in any way (my body does nothing but my mind and inner self are too much exhausted). I feel like it isn't my home anymore. There's more restrains and restrictions here. I can't even tell anyone what I'm feeling since I doubt if they'll even care. I'm sick of the days that I just have to go on with the flow. I like to do the things I like without holding back.

So if you're asking me if I want to go to uni, I'm telling you NO either! I'm really tired of everything. I want some time to be alone, to fix this selfish and loathsome heart of mine. I want to be free of the unwanted social conversations and responsibilities. I want to go back being a little child free of everything (free from expectations, free from complains, and free to be selfish). I really miss those days when everything seems so simple and I don't have any burden to face the society's standards.

Why do people have to grow up, anyway?
I really envy Wendy. If I were her, I'd stay with Peter at the Netherlands,.

So I'm continuing my freak with BLEACH (let's end my pathetic story),.
I love the scene where Ichigo defeated Grimmjow.
I'll make a separate entry for the review some other time soon =)
(I know I could enjoy it more if no one is on the way)

(I really planned decorating this entry with dark colors but since I'm over with them, I think colorful stuffs will fit into my not so good emotions. And this cute little things cheer me up too!)

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru