It's all coming back to me now

Luck has finally worn off. The crazy days of my life had begun. I’m feeling so alone again. I’m searching for someone’s warmth, the warmth I really missed so much. I know that she loves me but sometimes I wish she’ll allow me to take her for granted. I wish she’ll let me feel that I’m the most important person in her world… even once.

 June 15, 2010
Classes started, I don’t feel like going but I have to. It ended up tiring but fun.

 June 16, 2010
It’s Wednesday… I don’t have any classes. Don’t feel like going anywhere, stayed at our house, browse the net, and transform into a crazy fan girl again.

Read so many fan fictions today. Awesome!

 June 17, 2010
I have two classes. The hell I’ve got to wake up early. Slept two hours, get prepared and returned to university. I’m inspired so I really feel like studying. I decided to do my best.

The steep path that you'll be walking will be lit, but full of thorns. Good or bad, from start to finish, you're gonna do it anyway, so make your dream come true for those who watch over you, for the ones you love and for yourself.

Get your senses to a super high level, and walk your own path today!

 June 18, 2010
Euphoria of June started to fade off, time to get back to the hard days of my life. Humor has its limitation. I’ve felt that my ego was stepped upon. He stabbed me where it really hurts the most. I’m cursing him right now. I’ll forgive but the “us” before will never return.

Don't judge me. You don't have the right to. You don't know what I've been through. You don't know what I've felt or what I'm feeling right now. So find something better to do with your time... than judge someone you know nothing about.

This is a really bad day for me :((

 June 19, 2010
If I sleep eternally will someone notice this pain?

I don’t know how it happens but I didn’t wake up this day. Did I die? No, no, I’m just tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’m already broken.

With one’s back to the wall,
Fear to the death and regrets to the life…
In dazzling morning, I can say good-bye.
Hey, tell me, something to shake and ignite my heartbeat…
To “the brave new world” for “the Wailing Wall”

 June 20, 2010
It’s today. I thought it’s going to be a nice day but I destroyed it. I’m lost right now. I couldn’t find what I’m searching for. I couldn’t find happiness again. The color of rainbow that I’m embracing already vanished with the drops of falling rain. Can I bring it back once again?

Yes of course, I’ll have that best smile again… that will never be broken for sure.

“We’re like a set of puzzle pieces. We fit together so perfectly that it’s hard to imagine we were broken at some point. And like any puzzle, those pieces always look better when they’re together, not when they’re separated.”

“Sometimes pieces don’t fit. Like us, we’re not always happy but any puzzle could be solved no matter how hard it is.”

Sorry God for not attending the mass today. I tried but I failed. I’ll make it up next time. I promise. Thanks for brightening my day. I know you're always here... with me.

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Calm Envy

This song is written out a woman's point of view. She doesn't want her boyfriend to leave.

CALM ENVY

The GazettE

Seems like I'm getting melancholic from the sound of the down-pouring rain
Who's dream is this promise in, who is this dream for I wonder?

「I want to see all of you.」 「I want to love all of you.」
Please do it for me

When our hands are connected, there is usually a unknown scent coming from the reverse hand.
「I want to see all of you.」 「I want to love all of you.」
Even though I breath out regularly, it seems like I'm going to crumble

If you would love me deeper than those words
I could believe you just by standing in front of me.
In the suddenly shown past, it was easy every time we would touch
Tears are floating in the blank spaces that I can't fill

It seems like you're breaking away from my inside, you who is beside me also when we snuggle up in peace

「I want to see all of you.」 「I want to love all of you.」
The answer is drowning in a smile
「You don't love, the everyday shadow when it was lost.」
I embrace them in my arms the more I can't make them disappear

If you would love me, even though I threw those words at you
I could believe you just by standing in front of me.
In the suddenly shown past, it hurts every time you touch me
I want to love you to my inner emptiness.
Because I wipe away my tears so you won't be able to notice them

There is nothing more to laugh about in front of me.

We aren't anymore, just hiding the 'goodbye'
I want to be together with you, crying about this 'goodbye'
More than thinking back upon I want to forget.
and now leave me in this empty space.
Don't chase those long passed days.

Don’t leave anything more than what’s already left.
"At least..."
Holding onto this goodbye
Me, sleeping as I hold onto this good bye,
and my faint heat that vanishes like tobacco.

A person that loved the days that won't come back.

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

rain rain!

Today it's raining... hibernation period.

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Shopping :))

The supposedly study day period became a shopping day, yay! Magnetism should wait for another day, (haha). I’m so happy I bought a new music player. It’s satisfying, hmmm~ I promise to take care of it. I found so many cute things today. I have to save money so they just have to find another owner, poor things^^ Money is really important, isn’t it? You could buy many things and make yourself happy. This may sound materialistic but money could make people so happy. Now I can watch the GazettE pvs without being stuck at our pc. My whole world revolves around this band. I don’t know if this is temporary but I don’t want to lose this feeling. Their songs make me feel that they know and understand what I am going through. The solitude that I always feel disappeared because of them. I’m in love with their songs and I’m in love with their composers. In the old days, I’m not into music but they gave me a reason to love it. Now, I’m drowning with the songs they warmth my heart with.

Last Sunday I bought these shoes:

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru