Enrollment

I’m crying of disappointment. This day is somewhat full of expectations and ended up into a mess. I wish I never wished for anything. Why it is so hard to have my wishes come true? I really hate myself. I wish I could be a little bit more mature, maybe this won’t hurt that much.

I hate boredom. Once I’m indulged into it, I can’t bring myself to cheer up again. I’ve been so grumpy today. I canceled my spree tomorrow for this day, for this very disappointing, boring, and waste of time day.

I woke up early in the morning to accompany my brother (with my mom) in his enrollment and to pay my tuition after it. I thought we’re going to have some time bonding or enjoy shopping together but there’s this, there’s that, seems their business won’t end. We went there at 7 am and leave at 4 pm. I totally missed the banking hours! There’s no way I could pay my tuition today! But since we’re on the mall already, I thought we still could enjoy doing something nice. We walked and began to window-shopping, my and my mom’s taste never agreed. We walked a little longer and my brother saw some shoes. We started to argue about his preference. The shoe looks so lame and so big for his tiny little foot. Then, we heard some music… “Ah! A band (a marching band), well whatever, I don’t care.” this is what I thought. In the other case, my mother was very very very much interested. She stares at it every time it passes by. This is a total piss off. I mean, do you know what it feels? It’s as if you’re just three people walking together but never had the same interest. I hope she’ll give some attention or care for whatever we are doing but all of those things were given to that stupid band. I’m not having fun at all. Fine, she could just stare to that stupid band forever; I’ll just stand here and sulk. I want to go home already, shopping like this is nuts.

In summary, I endured 9 hours of boredom just to eat at some fast food and watch a stupid band and idiotic fashion show. I’ll have to pay my tuition alone tomorrow since I told my classmate that my mom and I would handle it today.

Now, I’m listening to the GazettE songs. It amazingly cheers me up. I cried on the first song played. All of my disappointment are flowing with those tears.

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Him

I have a little problem about my brother. I think he’s turning into someone… someone… not good. I can’t understand him even a bit. His words no longer keep its sense, just merely daggers to hurt people. He’s growing up but it’s like he’s becoming more childish (in a worst sense). Maybe there’s a part that I’ve influenced him but I never thought I could be someone like that. I have a little problem about my family too but recently I try to keep it all. It’s as if I’m in the course of being used to. For him, I really feel his changing and it’s bad (there’s no way I would be used to). He’s so dear to our parents (I know it the most) but if he continues like this, I think sooner he’s going to hurt them. The way he speaks to my grandma and me is driving me insane. He’s really grumpy but sweet if he needs something.

I don’t think I have the right to give him a CHARACTER REFORMATION since I’m not a good someone too but I want to make him into someone better (at least he don’t end up like me… disoriented). “He’s kind and nice,” my parents used to tell that to me and I know if he averts being like that, there will always be blame to me THE NOT SO GOOD MODEL SISTER. Well whatever, as long as he didn’t end up being broken, it’s fine to me^^

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Backache :(

It’s been a week since I started returning to my old lifestyle: sleeping too late (3 am) and waking up at 12 noon. Today I decided to wake up early so I slept at our living room and as expected… it’s a backbreaking wake-up call! Even though I put some futons on the floor, my body still hurts like hell this morning. It feels like I haven’t sleep at all. Well whatever, this was a success after all (I woke up at 7:35 in the morning).

So for whatever happens, let’s make this a fruitful day. I really need to go back in shape for the opening of classes (as I was saying again and again but never change much). I’m excited to see my schedule tomorrow (it was suppose to be yesterday but it was moved). I hope I don’t have night classes… killing. I still don’t have the guts to study but I was force to teach my brother because of his entrance exams. I think it’s better than doing nothing. I’m too lazy for DIYs lately.

Then I realized my schedule ran out of track. On a matter of two weeks, I’ll be returning to university… ah so lame, don’t really want to go^^ After involving myself to Lolita Fashion then into Gyaru (I’m still in it), it’s like I’m entering Visual Kei next. I love the fashion (yeah, I love it for a long time but these days are the most) and the bands. Maybe I should be involve in Decora too (haha^^ I like it). For some reason, I’m in love with these bands The GazettE, LM.C, An Café, and Alice Nine. (I’ll make a separate entry for musics). If you’ll just see the PVs, it’s totally rock!

THE GAZETTE

Haha~ but then again, I still can’t help indulging my self to the pleasure of Yaoi. I’ve read some fan stuffs and stories (about those bands) and it’s really awesome! I guess people are good in expressing those kinds of stuffs, (so dramatic and funny). It feels like I won’t get over to the uke and seme stuffs. haha^^

Let’s end this, got to eat and make myself a healthful creature.

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru

Playlist: LM.C

LM.C

Live☆Laugh☆Love

Shigeru